She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
