she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
