ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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