Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you win again, gameday.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
