She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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