Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am available for nakedness
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
