After last night, I could never be a politician.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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