when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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