isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
