he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
