my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
