my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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