I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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