I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize