You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
