I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
