just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
babies were throwing up all over the place
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
But theres a keg here and me gusta
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
