If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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