i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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