pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
