Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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