They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Bring me that man meat
pray to the hookup gods
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
