i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
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You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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