Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
