So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
