I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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