stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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