my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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