the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
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Just invented taco cereal.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge