I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
