The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
