omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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