she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize