i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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