she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
