party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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