you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
