with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize