awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
