I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You are the jesus of drinking
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
