You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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