he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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