You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
