I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
