why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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