Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
