that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
