K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
