Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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