But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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