escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
