Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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