At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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