I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
