90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
