I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
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is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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