It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
