if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
