I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I smell stomach acid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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