ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How external is "for external use only"?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
