I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
