me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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