I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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